Hot law student OCD action
I went to the coffee shop a couple days ago with a stack of cook books. The plan was to enjoy my coffee and slowly browse for recipes. I got my coffee and started looking for a seat. There was an attractive women studying something. I decided to sit at the empty table next to her and if the opportunity arouse I would charm her. Charm in the "pants off" sense would be applicable.
Before I go any farther I want to make sure that you know that as of PST 11:34:41 PM Alice Cooper's Clones (We're All) is the best song in the world.
I sit down and set down my coffee and books. My phone immediately rang so I had to go outside to answer the call. When that was done I came back in and set my phone down. There were now three separate classes of items on the table. I spent five minutes arranging everything. The coffee had to be one half inch farther than the the largest book's length from the edge of the table. It also had to be on my right side. My phone had to be behind the coffee but to the left so that I could see the face if it vibrated. The books had to be stacked face down from biggest to smallest at the left side of the table with enough space for the second largest book to fit between me and the last book on the edge of the table. Their edges also had to be squared.
I then pulled a note pad out. Everything had to be readjusted so that my notepad fit in between me and my coffee but set off to the side from the coffee so that if the coffee dripped while I moved the coffee cup to my mouth it wouldn't drip on the note pad. After I finished this adjustment I started flipping through the first, and smallest, book. I suddenly remembered that I needed cat litter so I pulled out my palm pilot and put that down on my grocery list. I thought it would be best to leave my palm out in case I remembered something else I needed from the grocery store.
I once again rearrange everything on the table so that it is perfectly spaced and the phone face is offset from the coffee cup and my palm is exactly behind my phone, etc., etc. I then finish the first cook book and realize that I haven't anticipated a pile for browsed through cook books. I start to rearrange the various piles and what not once again. I've only been at the coffee shop about 15 minutes. I've rearranged my piles, piles of stuff (I'm not saying I have piles), about five or six times by this point. I'm fixing the corners on all the various stacks to make sure they're square when I catch the eye of the woman I had chosen to sit next too.
She's got a stack of psychology books in front of her and her highlighter cocked. She's staring at me and I know she's thinking "This guy has blacked out the OCD checklist on page 235. If he gets up to wash his hand every six minutes exactly I'm gonna shoot with a tranquilizer dart, give him an ear tag and a radio collar, and I'll have a master's thesis.
Also, another thing I OCD about, I am a little fixated on the song Stagger Lee. I think the history of the song is fascinating and I really love the song because it's a great way to observe the processes of transformation in American music. Do you like American music. I like all kinds of music. Do you like American music, baby? I've read that there are over 186 recorded versions of the song from the early 1900's to this year. Well, over on Honey, Where You Been So Long there is a nice collection of Stagger Lee's and Stack o Lee's and Staggolee's. Listen and you can see how the '77 punk explosion is the direct descendent of field hollers.