Tell Us Why You Want To Work Here?
There are a lot of aspects of job interviewing that I don't like. I don't like wearing the suit. If you see me in a suit my name tag should say "big faker". I'm happiest in old ripped up jeans that smell and chuck taylors and a t shirt. I don't like the stupid prefab questions "What's your greatest weakness". I don't like that interviews have become so superficial that most of the time interviewers could find out more accurate information by asking the magic eight ball (or is it majik eight ball, is that just the card game?). I don't like the overwhelming feeling that above all I should not be myself.
Now let me tell you what I like about interviews. My favorite part of the interview is the five minutes you spend in the waiting room before the interview. You get to leaf through a People Magazine, Latino People if you're lucky (why don't they just call it Gente?), you get to pretend like you're preparing for the interview, you get to observe how the office personalities are reacting, and you get to be calm.
Then they call your name. I like to immediately start sweating. Sweating a lot. I want my shirt to immediately have pit stains. If they can start becoming visible on my jacket even better. I think the shine on my forehead goes with my suit and if I'm lucky I might fog up my glasses a little bit. This also provides me with the opportunity to give a nice limp clammy handshake. Who doesn't live for the nice limp clammy handshake? I then get to turn down an offer of coffee or water. If I was given coffee or water I'm sure I would try and spill it on an important file. Once I'm sitting I can start worrying about the position of my arms and if any tattoos are visible. It's a rush. Kind of like bungee jumping but without the adrenalin and all of the realization that this was probably a bad idea.
So I had an interview. I did the sweating thing. I would say my sheen brightened the paint in the office a little but wasn't garish. I gave a decent handshake and had a good interview. The guy was down and I could actually relate to him and be a fairly close approximation of myself. I left feeling I have a good chance at the job. I feel pretty good about the interview and I'll actually be disappointed if I don't get it, but I think I gave it a good shot.
This is in direct contrast to the interview which abruptly ended when a tattoo on my wrist became visible. I will be writing a thank you letter for this interview. Whereas there may have been some toilet papering on the visible tattoo interview.
3 Comments:
Interviews bite almost as much as cover letters and thank you letters. It's an exercise in self-torture to come up with genuine-sounding reasons for why I want to be some places (e.g., places I have shown absolutely *no* interest in until I've reached Critical Third Year Must Find A Job time), while with others, what I genuinely believe sounds schmaltzy. Wouldn't it be great if we could all just be ourselves in interviews, perhaps minus the f-bombs? Or maybe instead of interviews, they could just come spy on job candidates in a work setting and see what they're really like. They'd prolly like me better than my nervous I'm-at-an-interview self. Or not. But at least they'd know what they see is real.
i felt bad reading this post because i kept wanting to laught at your sweaty pit stains, your clamy hands but i felt guilty about wanting to laugh.
i interviewed for a government position once that left me shaking for 10 minutes after it was over. The interviewer was an ex-marine female that made Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket look like an angel. . .yeah but I got the job. So. . .that sweat/shake stuff works! Buena suerte!
Post a Comment
<< Home