My Voice Sounds Sweet Cuz It Hazta

I got called on in Biz Ass (Business Administration) the other day. I hadn’t read. Prof. Biz Ass goes in alphabetical order. We were on C’s the class before, middle C’s (like Mr. Clark middle C’s). I’m a Gonzalez, I reckoned there were two weeks until I got called on.
I want to start out saying I usually read. I like the edited little cases in the casebook. They’re cute after the 60 page multiple dissents and an extra concurrence stuff I generally read. (A quick aside, most of the Supreme Court cases have a short syllabus before the case starts. The syllabus explains what the court decided and their reasoning. Why can’t the court just write the opinion in the syllabus? Why do they have to make this 50 page rambling hazy opinion when some asshat can explain it all in 4 pages?) I had planned on reading for Biz Ass in the 30-minute break I have between work and class. Prof. Biz Ass had been giving us 10 page readings so I figured I could knock it out before class. This assignment was about 40 pages. I realized I was screwed so I read for my next class and didn’t worry about it, I’m a G and we were on C’s.
I go to class and plop my stuff down and load up the crossword. I talk to Mr. L and ask him if he read, was it interesting, anything I should keep in mind during the lecture? He says he didn’t read because he expected a short reading and he didn’t leave enough time for the long reading. I said “Small world, I bet I can finish the yahoo crossword puzzle before the girl three rows up can.” and sat down to get started.
Prof. Biz Ass starts the lecture, interesting stuff. We get to the first case and he starts calling names. We go from Chen to Davis and no one is there. I look up, there are a lot of empty seats today. Finally he gets to a classmate that’s there. They start on the case and I think “I better read the last case just on the off chance no one else is here.”
I start cruising through the case, while taking notes, and trying to beat the girl three rows up at the crossword. He starts calling people for the next case. We go from D to Gonzalez. I’ve read about four pages of the case.
I know nothing about the case except that it involves a law firm, some public policy stuff that’s similar to employment wrongful discharge, and it’s from Texas. I happened to live in Texas at the time of this case and there was a bunch of juicy gossip about it. I lay out some basic public policy issues, really broadly and then talk about the gossip. Prof. Biz Ass throws me a couple softball questions and then asks if there were any other interesting matters I could relate for the class. I talk about campaign donations, Alberto Gonzalez, and Karl Rove.
I’m a freakin’ champ. I received several compliments on my ability to liven up Biz Ass, and although it was obvious I hadn’t read it was much better than when the gunners make comments.