Antonio versus the A paper

I just got an idea. I should have written my paper on pirates and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). To be a pirate you can apparently be missing any one of your limbs, have sight problems, alcohol issues, or scurvy. You can have any one, or actually multiple, these disabilities and still be a pirate.
What would constitute unqualified for a pirate. I would think both hands b/c fighting with a cutlass and pistol seems to be a common pirate job duty. But then you've got Captain Hook who was able to excel as a pirate, even becoming captain.
Many a pirate's had an eyepatch and because pirate's use spyglasses instead of binoculars it's apparently no hindrance. Depth perception would seem to only matter on land.
I guess the only really universal pirate job duties involve things like parrot care. Then you have to ask would be considered a reasonable accommodation for someone who was too disabled to be a pirate. Maybe a lowered crow's nest for pirates with vertigo.
I bet I could have got at least 40 pages out of that and my footnotes would have been cool stuff like Pirates of the Caribean instead of Harvard Review of Criminal Law and Procedure Law Journal.