Monday, August 30, 2004

Snickering in Class

I've got Prof. K for Entertainment Law this semester. Today he gave us an overview of what we'll be studying. The phrase "Orgasm of Death" and "Bubba the Love Sponge" came up. The entire class purposefully stared at their feet to avoid the giggles. I snickered, couldn't help it. This is going to be a fun sememster.
Also, if I were a DJ my name would be DJ State v. 2 Technics SL-1200MK5 Turntables.

New Semester

The semester starts tomorrow. I've loaded all my classes on to Monday and Wednesday. It'll make my work schedule gel a little better. The downside is that I have a crap load of homework on Sunday and Tuesday night. I know I could hypothetically spread out the homework, but that's not going to happen. I didn't recognize the amount of homework until I sat down to do it tonight. I had downloaded and printed a syllabus to one of my classes about a week ago and was feeling very accomplished and on the ball. When someone asked me Friday if I had started on my homework I said, "Yeah, I looked at the syllabus for Pub International Law, I even got the book."
They asked me if I had actually read anything. That part had slipped my mind. So anyway I've finished most of my homework for tomorrow, I'll do the rest between classes, and I dug out my back pack. I think I'm pretty prepared. I have to find some pens and notepads and stuff, but I'll do that later. I also need to check the bus schedule.
There is a legitimate reason why I started some of my homework so late. I haven't picked all my classes. Actually I have now, but as of say four this afternoon I hadn't picked my classes. So tomorrow I get to fight the registrar and the brutally morbid line of add/drop. I'm looking forward to it.

I want mention that The Clerk ended his blawg. I hope he starts up again, it was always a good example of legal writing. On the other hand Jack Bogdanski, the man that brought us "The Hunkiest Law Professor of the Year", started his up again. Tomorrow during the break I'll delink The Clerk and link Bogdanski.

I also want to encourage everyone to go download Ted Leo and the Pharmacists' song "Me and Mia" because it's an awesome piece of pop music, then go buy their record.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Hooter's Girls

Downtown Portland has a square that's referred to as "Portland's living room". I was walking by this afternoon and there was some kind of rally going on. I couldn't see what was going on but it looked sports related and the Hooter's Girls were there. Today's weather in Portland was kind of cold, grey, and misty. I thought, what could beat the pleasures of wearing a tanktop and hotpants and getting gawked at in the cold rain? Then the answer hit me, not being at the restaurant serving food so you don't get tipped.
When I crossed the street past the square I could see the Hooter's Girls. They had on rain gear instead of the uniform. It cracked me up. I started to think what a real local version of a Hooter's would be like, pasty girls instead of fake N bakers, baggy REI pants instead of shorts, fleece instead of tanktops, and then I realized I was just thinking about McMenamin's. Which I think I'll go to right now.
Also check out George W. Bush's medals from his tour in the Texas National Guard.

Substanceless posts

I found this site off of Fark and I must say the music is half decent. The program they used to convert the music to MP3s sucks, but worth a listen nonetheless.
I always hated anarchists when I used to run in punk circles. But this article cracks me up. I also "really dislike Bush" but a feeling of community responsibility, as opposed to unrestricted self involved autonomy, had me voting a long time ago.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Lexis Elite Status

I don't know what Lexis Elite Status is. They started offering me points and stuff and then I noticed that the little elite bar was progressing and I was getting very close to getting elite status. I started to get excited. When I was about 100 points away I decided it was something that I needed. I stopped checking about two weeks ago confident that I would make it. I only needed 30 points. That's three days of logging in and searching for something. No problem. I was basically strutting around like a pro wrestler who's opponent is struggling to tag in his fresh teammate. The whole while I was oblivious that Lexis would reset the points that freakin' weekend. They reset the points every semester, but since school didn't start for me until 8/30 I figured no problem.
I checked my status the other day. I have 50 points towards elite status, that means 1,950 to go. They reset the counter. I missed it and I may never know what elite status is like. It was like my unwitting professional wrestler got hit on the back with a folding metal chair by the freshly tagged in teammate. I'm taking extra highlighters to make up for this.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Bunch o' Links

There's been a bunch of interesting stuff in the news lately. My bookmarks have been filling up so here they are really quick. First, off of JuliusBlog there is a timeline of terror alerts and news stories the day before. Generally this kind of stuff is akin to numerology where you have an argument you're pushing and you shove stuff, often called proof, in to make it look valid. I'm predisposed to believe his point though and so I found it compelling.
Second, the times had an article about an Israeli military official saying they could pull out of the Golan. I'm not an expert on this but I've read a decent amount about it and this seems to me to be the same type of thinking that got Israel in trouble during the War of Yom Kippur. Now that Iraq does not pose a threat most of the need for the Golan is gone. Jordan and Egypt aren't going to start anything with Israel anytime soon and Syria's army is a joke. Still the idea makes me nervous.
There was this article on Walmart on Yahoo. It's nothing new. After the article in the Atlantic Journal Constitution about healthcare costs that Walmart inflicted on Georgia it's to be expected. It seems like the more you think about "low prices" the more you realize it's a zero sum game. You pay one way or another. Save a nickel on a gallon of milk and you pay a nickel so Walmart worker's kids can get free school lunch.
Pleasant has a wonderful quote by Bush. It's about why it's pointless to tax rich people. Can we apply this logic to minor drug offenses?
Rex 2.0 has some solid advice for those of you coming into law school. However, I'm going to toss in a cavaet. This answer will bug some of your professors. They'll want you to take a stand so that they can point out the no side or the yes side. Another good word to start using is "because". It "depends" "because", "he's liable because", "the gov's interest does not overide his rights because".
I don't know what Kerry was thinking when he said this. A new president will make some difference to Europeans, but probably not enough to send their kids to get shot.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

The Vern

The Vern is a dump. They remodeled it recently so now it’s a nice dump, but it’s still a dump. Over the front door of the Vern is a sign that once said “Tavern”. At some point the sign got busted and the T and A were dented and broken. The sign now simply says “vern”, and thus the name. I don’t frequent the place like I used to, but there’s still the same people sitting at the bar today who were there in 1999.
The Vern’s ceilings were hidden in dense clouds of smoke. The only light came from the jukebox, neon beer signs, a couple of TVs, and the video poker machine. The jukebox was the best jukebox in the Pacific North West. It played 45s and the music ran the gamut from Yoko Ono to Star Wars to Black Flag to Joan Jett. Many of the tracks were mislabeled. It was a ploy to spot the tourists. They thought they were playing Men At Work, instead it was 6 minutes of avant guarde warbling. The regulars would get pissed off and ask why the hell someone played that piece of crap song and malign the tourist. If you got up to put on a song it wasn’t uncommon for people to shout numbers at you instead of song titles. 224 was the Dicks, 182 said it was Def Leopard but was actually the Rolling Stones.
The Vern wasn’t exactly welcoming. It stunk, there were often fights, and the bartender is insulting. On my first visit he read my ID and said “Another fucking Texan” and from then on called me Tione, short and gavachocized for Antonio. He saw my roommates ID and said “Buffalo’s a real shithole”. It was love at first sight.
The Vern’s only happy hour was on Sunday at 10 in the morning. This was savvy business acumen. The methadone clinic next door had a dosing at 9 am and there was always an eager clientele milling about waiting for them to open. You can tell that this was a real class joint. Pictures of Henry’s were $5.50 and Pabst was straight $5.
The Vern’s bathroom was completely covered in graffiti. My personal favorite was “Sean Pitts is so gay he uses nasal spray.” That’s not the name we choose for the team. We went with an old poem, a classic you might say, that’s been passed on from generation to generation in shitty bars like this all over the world. It reads as follows.

Dump Truck
By Anon
Oh I wish that your mother were a hole in the road
And I was dump truck so I could give her all my load.

Thank you and goodnight.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Out of town

I've got to go out of town for the weekend. I'll be back on Monday with a nice rant about walmart and I'll spill the beans on the trivia team name. The team name needs background so I can't just write it out. I also noticed that I hit my hundredth post a little bit back. Man I'm established. I wonder if 1Ls are reading my blawg to figure out what to expect like I was doing to Jeremy's blawg last year.
If there are any 1Ls reading this check out Buffalo Wings and Vodka. Everything you need to know about law school is explained succinctly and clearly over there.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Trivia Night

My local pub has a trivia night on Tuesday. I haven't gone very often because of work but the last couple weeks I've made it. I know a good chunk of Islamic and Arabic history and culture. Another teammate knows classical music and one other knows sports. Another knows linguistics and European history. Then there's L. L knows everything. My area usually doesn't come up more than one or twice a month so I spend most of my time saying L had the right answer.
My team is consistently in the top 3 teams. When we don't win based on points we tend to win for best team name. Well this week we decided to use a poem from the bathroom of my other local pub as our team name. It's not strictly obscene, but it's not very nice either. We ended up tied for third place. As the tie breaker they used our name. When the guy, Jim, who runs the contest and decided our name was better, read our name the whole room fell slack jawed and silent. One drunk guy in the corner demanded that he read the name again. That's the power of poetry.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Plastic Bertrand

Before we get into whether or not I have an OCD let me just remind you that I go to law school. Logic Puzzles? I love that shit, grab a shovel and toss it in a wheel barrow. Hand deliver it to me while it's still steaming. That's my stuff. It smells like roses.
Anyway, Spoilt Victorian Child has a wonderful post with Sonic Youth's cover of Ca Plane Por Moi. They not only cover it competently, they add a splash of good old American franco-phobia. The song is loud, noisy, ruff, and distorted. You should blast this on Saturday night. It's second only to the Thee Headcoatees' cover.

Sunday, August 01, 2004


I went to see the Reigning Sound last night. I had been looking forward to this for two years. This was going to be my first chance to see them and I was excited. The tickets said doors at nine and the Reigning Sound were the openers. We got there at ten and figured we'd be safe. After passing through security and stopping by the bar we ran into a friend and she told us we missed the Reigning Sound. I thought she was joking, but she wasn't. We actually missed the Sahara Hot Nights too.
Now goddamnit, there are fucking rules to being a rock n roll rebel. The first one is that you do not start a show before ten o'clock. That is bullshit. If you begin having shows start at 9 pm, you start having shows over before 2:30. What the hell are you supposed to do in the time between when the last band plays and the after party starts? You might as well just go to another bar. And if you're just going out to a bar why even have a frickin' show. I want a band to rock so hard that I stumble out of the venue exhausted, head home, drink a beer and pass out with my chuck taylors still on.
Man, I'm still so angry about this. I think they started that early so the kids could make it home before curfew. In Austin, a town that understands rock n' roll and doesn't give a crap what time the kiddies curfew is over at, no one ever took the stage before 11pm. No one was even awake at 9pm. We were just getting up from the last bout of wild RAWK! MAYHEM! At 9pm we'd get our cup of coffee, pack of smokes, sneer purposefully and then head to the bar to meet people to go to the show. And as for the kids and their curfew, they should freakin' miss curfew. They should have to sneak home through back alleys and seedy parts of the city to get home from the rock n roll show, which should have been the same way they got there. Having your dad drop you off is no good. If you're allowed to go to the rock n roll show you might as well be going to the church youth social. This is about drinkin' cherry flavor rotgut vodka that you shoulder tapped a bum for out of a plastic pint bottle, throwin' up on your shoes and then walkin'/crawlin' two miles home.
So anyway, I freakin' missed the Reigning Sound. I might try to go see them in Vegas. I'm thought I was ready to talk about this...