Summer's coming

I hit the grocery store, I'm totally stocked. I've got so much stuff I'm going to have to bury it in special containers like all the Y2K nuts did. I can dig it up late at night when I'm hankerin' for some queso dip or something to snack on. I also did all my laundry. I cleaned my apartment. I'm ready for finals, except for the studying and knowing stuff part.
Lexis keeps reminding us to renew our password over the summer. They have this graphic of someone, a female in soft focus, barefoot with her legs up working on her laptop. You get the impression she's on a beach. I could see why Lexis would be pushing this image, but come on. The only people I know who are going to be barefoot and reading lexis this summer are going to be the law clerks at legal aid. Just have some respect for us. Don't sugar coat it. We all know what extending our password means. It means being holed up in a cubicle in the library or some windowless closet of an office set aside for law clerks while the sun gleams outside. If I went anywhere near a beach lexis would be the last thing I was thinking about.
I fucked up some beans tonight. I thought I would try making beans in the crockpot. They could cook while I sleep and then I'll have beans with almost no work. I have never made beans in the crockpot before and I was thinking about how much liquid to add and what temp and for how long. I was considering all this and accidently added the salt. Anyone who has ever cooked dry beans knows you never add the salt until the beans are cooked. If you add the salt first you get tough beans. I can't believe I did that. I guess I could have rinsed off the beans but I didn't think about that until right now. I'm going to get kicked out of the Chicano race for this. NCLR is already sending me a letter, "Mr. Gonzalez, Because you are unable to cook beans you are unworthy of your status as a pocho. We considered demoting you to chilango but this was too great a transgression. We regret to inform you that you may no longer use the term Latino or Hispanic to describe yourself. Please return any Edward James Olmos movies you may have rented from Blockbuster and handover your autographed Cruz Bustamante headshot. Thank you"

P.S. Does anyone know if it's true that Lalo Alcatraz died?