Can of Pozole

My roommate bought a can of pozole. Pozole is a soup made with pork, preferably the pig's head, and hominy. It takes a long time to cook properly and it is the kind of food you shouldn't buy canned, but my roommate thought he would give it a try. When he got home from the grocery store his courage failed. He read the nutritional information and apparently the stuff has 50 grams of saturated fat per can. This was more than any other food item we could find in the house. Look around your pantry, or even at a frozen fried chicken dinner the next time your at the grocery store. 50 grams is a brickload.
The can sat in the pantry for a couple of months and then last Sunday I got hungry. I thought, it can't be that bad. So I opened it and ate it. It was that bad, it smelled like alpo. Anyway, while trying to open it I cut my hand, pretty deep too, on the edge of the lid. I actually cut my hand a few times. I've got these new cuts on my hand and they open whenever I move my knuckles too much or bump my hand on something.
At my new job I spend a lot of time moving my knuckles and bumping my hands into stuff. I left blood smears all over the place. I had to print a document like three times before I got one without smears. It was nasty but I think it will help me to build a good professional image. I'll be the big tough lawyer who bleeds when he has to handle paper because he couldn't open a stupid freakin' can of pozole. Maybe they can call me "La Lata" or "La Lata Peligrosa".