I volunteered to participate in this program with at risk youth. We read stories and write letters to the kids to get them interested in reading. One of the things we’re supposed to read is an Emily Dickinson poem. I remember when I was in high school and trying to establish a rep so I wouldn’t get beat up everyday. I used to read Emily Dickinson and talk about it with my homeboys all the time.
We’d hang out in the parking lot of the high school comparing how Bustle in a House was like when my cousin’s suegra died or how Single Hound got to the heart of your inability to escape yourself.
Yeah, after I exhibited my fierce ability to analyze the poetry of Emily Dickson no one ever kicked my ass in the gym locker room again.

So roller derby ended on a high note. The Heartless Heathers ended up winning the championship in a nail bitter of a match against the Guns N Rollers. My favorite team, The Break Neck Betties, came in third and the High Rollers finished last. You can check out the standings at the Rose City Rollers webpage.
I wish the Betties had done better but they skated some really good matches. Next season I think they’re really going to shine. You can imagine how much fun I had cheering for them in their final match of the season. There’s just one thing. I didn’t cheer for them. I cheered for the High Rollers.
Now you may be asking, “What’s your ass worth if you turn on your favorite team at the end of the season?”
In my defense there were several extenuating circumstances. First, one of my friends, Farah Loathing (yeah, I'm dropping names), made the High Rollers. She’s a hell of a skater and locked up skaters who were twice her size (cough D. Konstructor cough). Second, she got me tickets. Roller derby tickets will pretty much win my loyalty 9 times out oft 10.
You may dismiss this as my friend Miss A. did and say I’ll chase anything thing in a pair of sweaty fishnets and roller skates. I would argue that’s not the case. I’m not chasing this particular roller girl and Farah Loathing is quite a bit more than a pair of hot legs in fishnets and roller skates.
With this double whammy of High Roller goodness I figured I could swallow it and just cheer for the High Rollers, and how often would they be playing the Betties anyway. It won’t be long before I was back chanting “Break Their Necks! Break Their Necks!”
So I went to the match and happily cheered for the High Rollers. I even bought a T Shirt. They did a hell of a job and I was sorry to see them lose but thankfully if someone had to win it was the Betties.
I’ve heard through some grape vines that there may be some shuffling of players and that the High Rollers are going to be a different team next year. I also heard I might not have this conflict with the High Rollers and the Betties next year.

I can’t tell you how excited I am for next season.

If you’ve never seen Pennies From Heaven I recommend it solely for the Christopher Walken tap dance strip tease. It’s pretty much the greatest thing ever.
If you’re at the liquor store and you see a mason jar full of Georgia Shine Corn Whiskey, don’t buy it, even if the sales pitch that it’s been aged less than 30 days lures you. It’s bad juju.

My roommate likes to garden in the springtime. He usually grows a bunch of stuff and kind of loses interest by the time it’s all grown. That means there’s usually a crapload of chili peppers at the end of the year that no one is doing anything with for me to play with.
I decided to do something with them. I froze a bunch of the Habaneros but before I did I tried to make a couple things. The first thing I made was some salsa. It was tasty stuff but it hurt. This is just a tip from me to you. If you’ve already got 10 Habaneros in your salsa you don’t need to add any more. It’s already got that Habanero flavor, along with enough heat to strip your intestines. Getting that balance right is really a lot like playing with fire.
My mom would make some good stuff. I took some of her salsa to work one time. I kept it in the refrigerator and would just add a little to my burgers and stuff. I came to work once and my co worker said he would never eat anything I brought to work again. My mom’s salsa was so hot his stomach was screwed up all night. At my house we call that kind of heat “Love”. My mom likes to pack a lot of love into her salsa. She thinks it’s kind of funny if she can make something so hot that I get the hiccups.

I made a BBQ sauce also. That stuff was pretty good. A tip from me to you, if you’re going to BBQ chicken brine it first.

I got my bar number the other day. The number always starts with the last two digits of the year you were accepted in. Since I was accepted in 2006 the first two numbers of my bar number are 06. The bar number is a total of 5 numbers long. I was really hoping to get 06660. I could be the advocate of the beast, kind of like Keanu Reeves in whatever that movie was. Unfortunately 660 people didn’t pass the bar so the bar numbers didn’t go that high. The people at the bar also said “This isn’t the DMV. We don’t do vanity bar numbers.”
So I figured if I didn’t get 06660 I didn’t really care what my bar number would be b/c it would probably be lame anyway. It turned out I was wrong. I got 06336. Now notice that if you add the two 3’s together you get another 6. It’s almost like I got the bar number 0666, but it’s in code.
I honestly think that I got the most metal bar number you can get.

I'm also going to start mentioning my friends small bar numbers. "You know Mr. X, yeah it had an especially small bar number. It was in the low teens. I don't know what client is going to stay with someone who has a bar number like that."

Rock on.