Saturday, March 31, 2007

I lost a hearing. I consider it a loss because I didn't get everything I want. I got about half of what I asked for. I felt I had the statutory law on my side. It wasn't until I had the chance to drive home about 4 hours later that I realized that although the law may have been on my side I probably wasn't asking for something very fair. The judge did what was fair when the law was unclear.
It's interesting how my mindset will get so one sided. When I told my roommate he didn't understand what my position was. I explained it and he wondered why I thought my position was reasonable. He asked why I thought my client deserved it.
I got to keep my head clear of that kind of client support because it can blind me to the other sides argument.

Monday, March 26, 2007

If you were to choose to tell a lie in court, and I would recommend that you don't, don't make it an obvious lie. When you make it an obvious lie you give me the opportunity to look at the judge in a sort of "I don't believe I caught that" sort of way. Then I'll look at you in a "Did you really just say such a stupid lie" way. Then I'll look at the ceiling to make sure lightning isn't striking you. Last, I'll look back at the judge in an "I'm going to pretend that stupid lie was not said b/c it's so dumb that it will just bog us down" and I'll say "Anyway, on the merits...".
Really, just don't lie. Everyone knows it. Lawyers live solely to sniff out and exploit these kind of lies.


Saturday, March 10, 2007

I had a hearing on Tuesday. I filed a motion with the court asking that my client have exclusive use of the family residence. Basically I'm asking the court to make the other party leave the house b/c the couple is fighting too much.
I won my hearing and the judge was laying out the terms and then I realized that I had just had this woman kicked out of her house. I made that happen.
It was necessary and for the good of the kids. She'll be able to find a place to live. It'll help speed the divorce along. There are some positives to it.
However, the psychological impact must be significant. I don't know how I would react if some stranger hauled me into court and had me thrown out of my house and away from my children. It's hard not to think that it would be devastating.
While writing the order up yesterday I realized how completely inadequate legal ethical education is. I had been happy that I won. What I did was necessary but I should have been more cognizant of what I was doing and not get tricked by language like "motion for exclusive use of the family residence."
Lawyers use language to hide the impact of what they do as much from themselves as from anyone.
No cheering when I kick people out of their house from now on.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

If I have to call a client and the hold music is especially bad it may effect my decision to bill that phone call.

Friday, March 02, 2007

One of the wonderful things about being a new lawyer is that even when you try and do a good job you are going to screw up. Some times those mistakes will be large. So you may win and the Judge may feel it necessary to point out some large mistake. You then have the best of both worlds. You get to win but you can still feel like a loser! I can’t encourage you enough to apply to law school.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

If you make a motion to the court that the other party should submit to a hair follicle drug test then expect the other party to ask that you submit to the same test. If this happens and you don't think you can pass there are some ways to go about handling it. The best would probably be to withdraw your motion. You might also try settling.
The worst plan would be to have your entire body waxed. When you show up at the testing site and they can't even pluck an eyebrow to do a test they probably won't think it's a strange coincidence. They'll probably call the other party and say, "I don't fucking believe that this asshole showed up with his entire body waxed. I couldn't even get hair out of his ass crack."
The judge probably won't believe your lame excuse for waxing your entire body, no matter how casually you try and present that excuse.
This isn't legal advice, I'm just saying...