Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year!

I had a pretty good break but after work and finals I feel pretty burnt. I thought that I should post b/c I've been neglecting the old blog. I'm realizing that I don't have much to say.
I was in Texas and it's not that funny. I did get to eat good tortillas though. Man I miss good tortillas. Hopefully I'll stumble onto something interesting tonight, like wrestling.
Speaking of wrestling, I went to get dinner last night and they had sumo wrestling on the TV. A little note to restaurant owners, no one wants to see fat guys in thong underwear thingys sweating and grunting and wrestling while they eat. There was a match where the camera focused on this fat guys wedgied ass for a good five minutes while the other fat guy tried to wedgie him out of the circle. I almost wanted seconds.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Last day

I was at Powell's yesterday getting a coffee and Powell's Barista Crush 1 asked if I was an employee. I said no b/c I thought they were just being cool and kicking down some neighborhood love. She said "Really, I thought you worked here. I mean you're always here."
I said "No, I just drink a lot of coffee."
"But you're here like four or five times a day"
"Yeah," I said, "I'm supposed to be doing something else and this is where I come to procrastinate."
That's the second time that's happened this week. So, apparently Powell's Barista Crush 3 and 1 weren't trying to give me a break on coffee b/c I'm such a good tipper. I need a new hobby. Does drinking coffee even count as a hobby?

Does the new Pope freak the shit out of anyone else?

I'm finally taking my last exam in an hour. Sweet Sweet freedom. I can see the light. Then I'll probably go to Powell's.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Brain Puddin'

I won't get into the fact that my prof didn't mention his exam would be 4 hours long instead of 3 hours long, and I won't go into the fact that it was a completely open book exam even though it said on the website that it was just notes prepped by the student. I won't get into that b/c I freaking rocked his exam. By "rocked his exam" I mean that I'm done and don't have to deal with that shit anymore.
I also won't get into how the whole thing was ripped off of some other thing and how it could use some help organizationally. Whatever. I took it and I'm done.
That said I've got one exam left to rock. The chances of me rocking it are dependent on if "rockin' it" means pulling an even C. At this point I believe it does.
I kind of announced/mentioned my birthday this year. It's the first time I've done it in forever. I've still got the sock puppet from last time. I got a sack full of loot. I got everything I've ever wanted and a little bit more. Shout out to Joel for the little bit more.
Shout out to Ms. C for the coffee cup. I've already had a portion of the coffee. Shout out to Ms. P. and J for the awesome book. I can't wait to read it. That goes doubly for Ms. S. Have an awesome holiday. Shout to Ms. F. for the great gift, I will be a trivia power house. Word to Ms. M. I've got wage hanging on my shoulder everywhere I go now. Shout out to Ms. V-H. I can't wait to use your gift and a little more. Especially in re the cute waitress C. Shout to Ms. P and TJ yeah I'll take some sturgeon. You're my favorite of favorites and good luck with your trial. Shout out to Ms. B for the bourbon. It may have led me to a night of debauchery and bad decision making, but hey no scars. Shout to L&J, you also were major and valued contributors to the "bad news" (by bad news I mean heavy drinking and deep lustful enjoyment of maker's mark and then for some reason [bar application] everything gets fuzzy). Shout out to Ms. K and her roommate for being awesome. Special shout, let's make it a holler with foot stoompin, to Ms. D for the awesome pret a porter and music. Huzzah, Huzzah, Huzzah to the GnR for my sweet ass paella. Mmm peppermint bark, you know who you are, Mistress of pant changing. Word to Mr. A for the heads up. Shout to Ms. J always good to see you. We should get into some trouble after finals, the Vern? Thanks to Mr. T for coming out with Tax on the horizon. Hey Mr. D, I pop a collar your way. You were major contributors to my life being Freakin' Awesome. Shout out to B and K, I'm renaming you Will Power. Thanks to the bartender for not cutting me off. Thanks to Ms. D De La Trivia and Mr. A, as a matter of fact I am a fan of the Banana Splits. Last but not least thanks to Shiz and Marcus. Just remember, it's all in the reflexes.
The only thing I'm missing is that hug from Ms. G.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Half done

Well, I woke up at 7 AM, after studying until 2 AM, and showered, shaved, suited and hustled on down to the courthouse for pretrials. Took a lunch break and then shot back to the justice center for community court. I got out of there at 3 and checked my calendar for next week and then drove to school. I got to school at 4pm and studied for two hours and then went and took Sec Trans. I totally rocked it. I had on my lucky underwear. Actually they're Ms. C's underwear. I got them while eating fried chicken in Ms. E's bed. They're still lucky.
I am now dancing about my room grunting and pelvic thrusting in a victory dance. I am sweating from the exertion. I am half done with finals.
I'll rock the next exam too. I'm going to try and take Civ Rts on Monday. My professor is lucky he has two butt cheeks, otherwise he wouldn't be able to tattoo my whole name on his ass after I totally dominate that exam.
Man, I'm freaking awesome. Or exhausted. I'm going to eat a bowl of minestrone soup, drink a beer, and watch Silence of the Lambs and pass the hell out. I'll be back awake and living the wild life in this Gangsta's Holiday that is finals.

P.S. I got my favorite piece of mail again this year. That's right, it's my birthday card from the student loan people. I hear they're going to send me naked pictures of my mom to ruin Xmas for me. Bastards.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

chickening out

I was going to take Sec Trans today, or as I like to call it The Articles of Prof. K. I ended up chickening out. For some reason I can't seem to learn me no Sec Trans. I've been at it for a good two days now. It's pissing me off. I don't really enjoy this stuff. I just want to finish it and be done and go home and eat some tacos and go to work. Flip Flippity Cram Crap Christ.
That's the first time I've ever pushed back an exam when I had serious plans to take it. I've taken exams after four hours of studying b/c I was pissed I wasn't learning it. Not this time. I want to understand the material. What the fuck, I've never let that hinder my exam taking before. Damn Damn Damn Secured Trans. Anyway I spent a few more hours studying and it's starting to coalesce, I believe.
A grasp on the material sounds like a worthy goal, but if I had just taken the test, understanding and competence be damned, I could be at the pub toasting my friends. But no, it's more outlines, more outlines. Arghh, spit, ack, grrr, gnash. Crap.
I'm going to read my notes one more time and then I'm going to read a practice test and then I'm going to sleep. And I'm going to be angry while I'm asleep that I chickened out and still have to take the damned Sec Trans test.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Firestorm of concentration

One of my friends asked me if I had ADD yesterday. That's about how well my studying has been going. I did finish one test. I think the curve is going to be wicked tight on it but I feel alright about it.
Usually that Prof. asks "Who is your favorite lawyer and why? It can be either a historical lawyer or someone you know personally." I had an answer prepared that started along the lines of "I'll give you one guess who ISN'T my favorite lawyer right about now." He didn't ask that so I didn't get to give my answer.
Anyway I was at Powells today getting a cup of coffee. Actually I was at Powell's twice today getting a cup of coffee. The first time I was at Powells getting a cup of coffee the barista asked me if I worked at powells. I said no because I'm frickin' honest. She says to me, "Whenever you're asked a question while you're buying something just say yes. So no employee discount for you." Doh!
The barista was the cute woman from Talkdemonic. You can probably find a webpage for them if you're less lazy than me. Anyway, there's been some hiring at powells and a shake up in my list of baristas that I stalk.
The barista from Floyds with the tattoos is still my favorite, followed closely by Powell's Barista 1 and 3. Then the barista at half crown and roast, the barista at Ugly Mug who makes the soap and the barista at Coffee Plant. Finishing up the list is the Talkdemonic Barista from Powells. I think I either need to drink less coffee or help them fill out the restraining order paper work on me. If I could make it to half crown I'm pretty sure that barista would be rocking the stalking.
I wonder if there's a myspace group for people with crushes on their baristas.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I'm such a dork

I don't even know what to say about this one. A High Fidelity related t-shirt that you have to be kind of goober to catch, and a bigger goober to think is cool. When Powells sent me this add I squealed like a little girl being given a precious locket. I am a big fan of the movie and the book is on my shelf and will be read soon, but the idea of a record store t shirt from a nonexistent record store is too exciting!
It makes me want a record store t shirt from Trax, which is the record store in Pretty In Pink. How in-jokey would that be. I think it would be the equivalent of teasing someone who has the Scuz pressing of the Motards first 7" instead of the Scuzz pressing.
I thought everyone in High Fidelity was so cool. They're lives were screwed up but they had the soundtrack to it and there was no end of banal record nerdy conversations. Live the dream man.
Record store people are not the kind of people I should be idolizing. I don't have the money to hoard records. Back when my record habit was bad I was spending $50 a week on records. I had to work two jobs to support my habit. If Jack Black didn't have a sweet band in High Fidelity he would have been totally undateable. Here I am without a sweet band. Shit.
I need to start doing super geeky in-jokey stuff on cool things like...
I can't actually think of anything. Man, I'm gonna pass the bar before I get a date with a cute new wave barista who digs Josie Cotton.
It only took me 30 minutes to find a picture of Trax. Now back to studying.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


I finished my classes this evening. I don't have to go back to class until the middle of January. I have to figure out my work schedule during finals but other than that I just have to learn all the stuff I was supposed to learn during the semester in the next 12 days.

So I'm standing in the courthouse and it's about the time of day when people who have been at the wrong courthouse all morning figure it out and come running across the street. They have usually scored a bench warrant b/c they missed their time while waiting across the street and want to get the warrant lifted.
Anyway I assume it's one of those guys. He asks if I'm a lawyer. I say "No, but who's your lawyer." He says he doesn't have one but he needs to see Judge Baldwin. I point out Judge Baldwin's court room and ask him "What do you need?" He says that he needs to see the judge right away, that it's a life and death matter.
He says "Someone is threatening me. I need to get my restraining order lifted so I can buy a gun!"
I pointed out the clerk and said "Talk to her." and then ran away.
I can't imagine how the judge would reason that one out. "Well, I have previously found you unstable and a danger to society. I did place a restraining order on you b/c you are so dangerous, but you seem to really need that gun. I'm going to lift it. Have a nice day."

To whoever keeps getting my blog b/c they're looking for a Sec Trans outline email me and I'll see if I can't hook you up. I could use a Civ Rts Lit outline in exchange.