Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The Garbage Bowl

I want to give a shout out to Azu for this wonderful post. If you could buy just one channel of cable I would buy a TV and sign up for food network. I agree with her almost a hundred percent but I want to add that I love Giada even though she looks like a bobble head doll.
The Rachel Ray stuff is spot on. It's not that she giggles so much that's annoying, it's that she has stoner laugh and her gestures are like a bad child actor. Hate Her! The link to the community of Rachel haters was great too. I almost want a Yummo t-shirt to defile.
And don't go asking me "If you hate her so much why do you sit there and watch her hooting like an angry monkey?" Look, I don't know. I only know that I hate her.

Monday, October 24, 2005


How come everything happens at once. Isn't that the point of time? It seems like this week there's a bunch of shows and parties and things to do. I don't want to hear any of that, "relax your social calendar and concentrate on what's important" crap. The social schedule is what is important. That's the fun. It's what makes it worth doing the other stuff. I spent last week feeling lucky to get 5 hours of sleep a day and this week it looks the same. I always think, "I'll catch up on sleep this weekend." it's a dumb way to live and I don't know how I got to the point where I have to plan when I'm going to sleep.

Living like this is how coffee became my favorite meal of the day. I should ask my boss if I can get paid in stumptown gift cards.

BTW, I really hate the cashiers office. How is it that people who spend all day handling money have no idea how hard it is to come up with a thousand bucks. They're bastards one and all.

Did you notice how this post didn't have a point? Did you notice how my roommate's comments implied he knew a lot about my semi "unprofessional" past. This is what you get for knowing someone for ten years. I guess when he goes to get his PHD I'll have to accuse him of blowing up hotdogs in the autoclave.

Is anyone else totally hung up on Rachel Steven's "I Said Never Again" this week? Has anyone else been busted dancing to Josie Cotton this week? How about last week? More than once this week? I can't be the only one... This is what comes of never closing your blinds.

Does anyone have an idea what I should be for Halloween?

The young woman I've taken a fancy to has a tattoo, which is number three on my list of requirements. They shake out something like this, 1. Brown Eyes 2. Listens to music that I can tolerate or even like (she likes pretty good music) 3. Has a tattoo 4. Lefty Politics and doesn't mind arguing with me 5. Likes to walk around 6. Likes to eat lots of different things 7. (This is only under consideration at this time) Really digs Rachel Stevens and dances to Josie Cotton, maybe digs They Might Be Giants 8. Will put up with my shit. Number 8 is really the tricky one.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Do me a favor

Dear Friends,
If you happen to see me at the courthouse and I'm wearing a suit go ahead and come up and talk to me. But please, at least for the next couple weeks pretend like I belong in the court house, in a suit. Walking up and saying it's the first time you've ever seen me in a suit and breaking into laughter might affect the way I'm viewed at my new job. Especially if you do it while my boss is standing right next to me. I might feel awkward and my boss might feel like he made a mistake. Just give me a week to prove he didn't and then go back to laughing.
I would also appreciate it if any other comments were friendly and supportive. Questioning my abilities in any field that might relate to my ability to do my job is kind of like more of the above. Especially, once again, when my boss is standing right there.
When I'm there with a client this will go doubly so.

I don't mean to be a drag. I think me in a suit is kind of funny to. It's like I'm trying to take pajamas seriously. Pajamas is the only other thing I can think of where your top and bottom are supposed to match. But give me a week.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Tell Us Why You Want To Work Here?

There are a lot of aspects of job interviewing that I don't like. I don't like wearing the suit. If you see me in a suit my name tag should say "big faker". I'm happiest in old ripped up jeans that smell and chuck taylors and a t shirt. I don't like the stupid prefab questions "What's your greatest weakness". I don't like that interviews have become so superficial that most of the time interviewers could find out more accurate information by asking the magic eight ball (or is it majik eight ball, is that just the card game?). I don't like the overwhelming feeling that above all I should not be myself.
Now let me tell you what I like about interviews. My favorite part of the interview is the five minutes you spend in the waiting room before the interview. You get to leaf through a People Magazine, Latino People if you're lucky (why don't they just call it Gente?), you get to pretend like you're preparing for the interview, you get to observe how the office personalities are reacting, and you get to be calm.
Then they call your name. I like to immediately start sweating. Sweating a lot. I want my shirt to immediately have pit stains. If they can start becoming visible on my jacket even better. I think the shine on my forehead goes with my suit and if I'm lucky I might fog up my glasses a little bit. This also provides me with the opportunity to give a nice limp clammy handshake. Who doesn't live for the nice limp clammy handshake? I then get to turn down an offer of coffee or water. If I was given coffee or water I'm sure I would try and spill it on an important file. Once I'm sitting I can start worrying about the position of my arms and if any tattoos are visible. It's a rush. Kind of like bungee jumping but without the adrenalin and all of the realization that this was probably a bad idea.
So I had an interview. I did the sweating thing. I would say my sheen brightened the paint in the office a little but wasn't garish. I gave a decent handshake and had a good interview. The guy was down and I could actually relate to him and be a fairly close approximation of myself. I left feeling I have a good chance at the job. I feel pretty good about the interview and I'll actually be disappointed if I don't get it, but I think I gave it a good shot.
This is in direct contrast to the interview which abruptly ended when a tattoo on my wrist became visible. I will be writing a thank you letter for this interview. Whereas there may have been some toilet papering on the visible tattoo interview.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Are You Ready For the Fed Courts?

Prof. Fed Courts has designated me the expert for tomorrow. That means I get to explain complicated cases and the doctrine of abstention to the class tomorrow. The only thing I'm expert at is half remembering cases from first year that are only marginally related to what we're talking about in class. Abstention also does not seem to mean the same thing it did in high school. So what would one do to prepare themselves for this experience? Read the assignment? Maybe check out Moore's federal practice? Maybe just look up the word abstention in a legal dictionary so I know what the subject is about? If you guessed any of those you're very close.
I spent the last hour trying to find out which CD's might have the track "Are You Ready For The Sex Girls" by Gleaming Spires. Do you remember that song? It's from the party scene in Revenge Of The Nerds. It's on the Revenge Of The Nerds soundtrack. I didn't know there was a soundtrack until I checked out IMDB. You may ask why I would care about that track. If you did I would stare you straight in the eye, swallow hard and say "Yeah, so have I mentioned that I can't get the stupid New York Times select crap!"
Anyway it turns out the track is also on a Rhino Records compilation called "Just Can't Get Enough: New Wave Hits Of The 80s". Volume 3 to be exact (Does anyone esle think their website sucks and is hard to navigate? It took me like three weeks to figure out how to find "Left Of The Dial: Dispatches From The Underground 80s). It also turns out that they have that very CD at the public library. I put a hold on it and I'll be able to pick it up tomorrow. I will then be in the envious position of having made an ass out of myself in Fed Cts (Did I mention that I asked for a reference from Prof. Fed Cts just last week?) but being able to sing-a-long to "Are You Ready For The Sex Girls." (A song that I will admit has no value and influenced nothing except maybe the Gleaming Spires break up. Actually if it did influence their breakup it may have led to some of the ex Gleaming Spires members to back up the Sparks and helped them to return to a more rock influenced sound.) Man, I can feel the envy coming straight back at me through the monitor.
Now that I've taken care of my Gleaming Spires issue I guess I'll go read Fed Cts. In my defense I would like to mention that I actually did bring my Fed Cts book home in direct contravention of my "No Textbooks In The House" rule. But have I mentioned the NY Times Select thing....

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Career Services

I went to a career services meeting today. They always make me feel like shit. It makes me feel like I'm a slacker for not already having the rest of my life planned. Shit, I just want to go out and dance around a little on the weekend. Why do I have to know what to do after the bar. Stress.
So anyway I decided to just concentrate on reading some cases for fun, watching a zombie movie or two, and drink a cool Coors 16 ouncer.
It's weird. I've got a number on me. I get bar results next September. It's 11 months until I'm supposed to have my shit together and be a grown up. I've got no problem working full time. I've done that forever. My problem is that I feel like everyone is telling me I can't be myself after that.
I think I'm going to spend my time developing a man crush on Christopher Walkin instead of developing my "professional persona". Rock on.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Feel Dirty?

I wonder if Bush feels dirty after he says something like this?
In our great democracy, the Supreme Court is the guardian of our constitutional freedoms and the protector of our founding promise of equal justice under the law

And I wonder if I'm the only one who gets a hankerin' for some jalepeno poppers after reading this?
The number and frequency of American children eating restaurant-served fried foods is climbing at an alarming rate, according to a new study of more than 14,000 adolescents.

Saturday, October 01, 2005


Chistoso maybe, but chismoso...
Anyway I heard Cindy went out with some guy and he tried to slip her a roofy but she got all messed up and passed out and he invented some story about her being sick and throwing up on him. That's what I heard anyway, and if the puke story was true why aren't there any pictures on flickr?

Reunited and it feels so good...
I started reading the Times again. I get the columns emailed to me via lexis. I'm not happy about it so maybe it doesn't feel so good, but I really need the times. I might pay the money even, or ask for it for Xmas. I'm not sure.

Daily Texan and Undocs...
DT writes that he hopes the undocumented people living in the path of Katrina and Rita are getting the help they need. I've generally heard bad things from legal aid workers in the area. I could only find one confirming story from the El Paso Times about undocs going to FEMA for help and ending up in the custody of ICE. Does anyone know more about this? I've been trying to read La Opinion everyday but it's hard for my pocho ass to get through it and it's usually something I save for Sundays.

Captured By Robots...
As of 11:58:55 PST Captured By Robots is the coolest band in the world. Why wasn't Chucky Cheese ever this cool.

Why I shouldn't do anything before my coffee...
I was about two blocks from the coffee shop and three blocks from my house when I remembered that I had started cooking bacon and eggs before I decided I wanted coffee and that the bacon was currently on the stove cooking/burning/starting a grease fire.

Lawyerin' and Ladies...
I met a young lady and I’ve taken a fancy to her. When I met her I thought, “I need more information about her.” That’s fine, you usually get that information through conversations with the person. That wasn’t what I was thinking. I was thinking about doing a public records search in Lexis and then googling her to find out what I could. The second I did that I realized there are areas of life where the lawyer skills should stay in the law library. I’m not stalking her, I don’t know her well enough to be that nosey, I respect people’s privacy. Anyway she’s clean, no rap sheet, no liens on her property, there's an incident when she was 17, but whatever. I’m kidding.