Thursday, December 30, 2004

Tamales versus Chicos

I've got a reputation among my family for being able to eat a lot. I ate 7 double orders of Chico's once. It's stuck with them ever since. I flew down to El Paso two years ago for 4th of July b/c it was Chico's 50th Anniversary. I've got T shirts from the 50th and 45th anniversaries. I can, and usually do, eat anything offered from a street cart in Juarez. I'll hit every cart on the main street. I'll also eat a lot of chiles rellenos at the mercado afterwards. They see me as a kind of Mexican food disposal system.
I didn't make it to Chico's more than once on this trip. My family felt bad for me so they all gave me extra tamales. They all did it spontaneously so I ended up with about 6 dozen tamales. At the last dinner before I left everyone was talking about going to one of my aunt's houses and my cousin Tiny asked if there were any tamales left. My Tio Jorge said "There's no tamales left. They're all in Antonio's luggage". And they were.
Yesterday I was talking to my friend in Corpus and she asked me if I was tamaled out yet. I've eaten about 6 a day since Xmas and I probably had about 20 then. I think I have two dozen left. I might be, but it might just be that this dozen is a little bland. I'll keep plugging away.
As I eat the tamales, menudo, juevos con chorizo, carnitas, churros, marenitas, conchas, and carne asada I've noticed that my fat man pants are becoming kind of tight. I've always been one of those people who can eat anything they want and just get fat as hell, but when your fat man pants don't fit it's kind of disgusting. When I get back to Portland I'm going to live off of coffee and walk around a lot.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Chico's Tacos

Chico's Tacos is this hole in El Paso. There's five or six of them and they built a new one on the east side. It's the first Chico's to have bathrooms on the inside. When you go to Chico's you get the taquitos. The taquitos are made of some weird fake meat shit with weird ass super fake cheese stuff. They're served in broth and you add salsa verde.
When they're served it looks kind of like someone threw up in a little cardboard boat. I know this sounds nasty but it is the best food in the world. They are open late on Xmas eve and they get the after mass crowd. It's 1:45 AM and there's a line out the door on Xmas eve. After Chico's the little kids get to open their presents.
Different Chico's have different attributes, I already mentioned the one with indoor restrooms. The one down on Alameda has gang fights. The one on McKray has people wandering around selling jewelery and pinatas. The one on Viscount freaks me out b/c you can see the rats running around the dumpster. I know the rats are at all of them but I don't need to be reminded by having them run around while I eat. The same Selena song has been playing on the Juke box at the Montana location since 1994.
You have to be on the ball at Chico's. If you want a table you have to keep your eyes open. You send one person to stand in line while everyone else wanders around looking for a table that's almost done eating. Then you fight everyone else who's waiting for the table. You have to pay attention b/c if you miss your number they'll give your food to the next order. Since everyone orders taquitos it's easy to merge one order into another. I've been at the Alameda Chico's twice when there's been knife fights in the parking lot and I didn't see either of them b/c it was more important to be watching for my number.
Internet is going to be shaky the next couple days but I'll try to update you on the Chico's tacos. I hope to have eaten two orders before tomorrow morning and at least ten by the end of the week.

Feliz Navidad

I finished prop trans a couple days ago. I tried to go on a drinking binge but I just fell asleep. I got out of prop trans, went to the pub and had two manhattans. I went home and fell asleep at 9:30 PM and woke up the next day at 2:30 PM. It felt fantastic. I went out to breakfast with Ms. M. immediately after waking up. I may have a crush on Ms. M. but I haven't decided yet.
I get to go to El Paso for Xmas. This is my absolutely favorite thing in the whole world. I have a big family. The kids run around screaming and they treat me like a jungle gym. There is a constant assault of kids 9 and under jumping on me and getting thrown around. I will eat more tacos than you can count on ten cousins fingers and toes. The surly teenage cousins will teach me about all the latest music. The cousins my age, the ones I grew up with and still call me little Tony or Chion, will discuss relationships. We will probably go to Juarez at one point and drink in the same bars we drank in as teenagers. I'll get to see all my aunts. My aunts love me. They cook me food, they ask about school and they analyze me to see why I don't have a girl friend.
My folks will also be there. My mom will be upset b/c no one is on time, b/c we're using the turkey for mole tacos, b/c we won't make it to mass, b/c the aunts are serving me food and I'm not getting up off my lazy ass to get my own food. My old man will be joking with his brothers. There will be one cousin they pick. They will tease him mercilessly for the week. If you're married your exempt. I'm hoping I'm old enough to be exempt, probably not though.
This is sappy but I love my family. It's the biggest single determining factor of my personality. I'm so happy to see my cousins and my aunts and be teased by my uncles and see the mountains and drive in the traffic. When I go home I get my skin color back, although it's snowing, and I pick up my accent. I'll get to see all my friends. Fucking Chipper, Metalla Bob, Adam Negro, Gilzilla, Little Ernie, Fat Chuck, El Juevon, The Alexander, Nature Boy, Chopper, Sonia, Tracita, El Ojo, La Rosie, Rocio. Every year there's this big party down town we go to. We get drunk and eat elotes from the guy in the truck in the square.
Most importantly I'll be eating Chico's tacos.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Prop Trans is for Sucks

Alright, I think technically I'm a grown up after last Saturday, I was gonna research it on Lexis later, but about the only response I can manage to prop trans at this point is that prop trans is a big doody head.
Second, the Yellow Peril had a link to this Christmas Gift Idea up on her blog. It's like bedazzler for urban youth. Mine would say GozzNzzazz.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Note for next semester

Next semester if I have a class that's early in the morning I need to remember to take better notes. Maybe on September 20th at 9 AM writing down that there was a "huge fucking mess of a title problem" and "there's two Mortgages, both fucked" made sense. Possibly "D is an idiot" and "some fraud shit" cleared this all up. It sounds like I may not have had my coffee yet and was in a little bit of a bad mood, possibly because I spilled my coffee. The obvious problem with this kind of note taking is that on December 20th at 9pm it makes no sense and all I know is that the D is an idiot. That's not exactly the kind of rule you want to write down on your outline.
"According to the Huge Fucking Mess doctrine the court would worry about it later because they need a cup of coffee now. Under the default 'Fraud shit' rule the P would prevail b/c the D is a big fucking idiot."
That's obviously a ten point answer. Rock on.

Getting Transactional

Well, I'm down to my last final. It's Tuesday afternoon and I've got a lot to learn. It's Prop Trans. It is not fun. So I've been studying for the last 10 hours. It's three in the morning and I couldn't give a crap if you have purchase money mortgage or not. I have one day to learn a whole bunch of stuff. There's stories going around about kids puking in fear. I think the reasonable thing to do is just have a beer and watch Kids in the Hall. Let's hear it for the bottom of the curve.
I took my entertainment law final yesterday. I think it went alright. I forgot the word "infringement" for about an hour during the test. It was a little disconcerting, but I think I did alright. After that I had a good birthday. The 1Ls took me out for a meal, I got a bunch of happy birthdays, I went out for a manhattan (Whiskey is the second prong, the first is Rock n Roll, in my brand of devout hedonism), and then went to the leather daddy bar to see who wanted to give me spankings. I had a wonderful birthday in all. Thanks to the folks who wished me well and right back at you.
Coincidently I took my K final last year on the 18th and Prof. K teaches entertainment law. I'm also taking secured transactions from him next year. I think I'll take the secured trans final next year on the 18th and it'll be a tradition. I can celebrate my birthday with a Prof. K final every year.
I'm going loopy now. I think I'm going to listen to the Ramones for a hour and then go to sleep. The guy in the apartment downstairs is snoring so loud I can hear it up here and it keeps scaring my cat. I'm out.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Student Loans

My student loan company sent me a birthday card. I don't know what to make of it. Generally they send me statements with big scary numbers on them. These numbers have some kind or relationship to my future paycheck. I don't understand, but if you know what's good for you then you don't try too hard to understand.
Sometimes in the past they've sent me scary letters with phrases like "amount due on 12/4/2001" or "past due". The kind of low grade threats of these letters and the statements I understand. They serve a purpose. They motivate me to pay them so that I don't wind up with concrete shoes in the willamette.
The birthday card I don't get. Is this some kind of threat? Are they saying they know some stuff about me, so don't try to run. Or is it a tactic to make my life unbearable. Are they trying to link my birthday with student loans, like little Alex and Beethoven's 5th? Will the next step link Chile Verde and student loans? Will they continue until every last thing I enjoy and hold dear is tainted by student loan? Is the student loan company carrying on a psychological war against me? If I start getting cards in my six packs then I'll know.

Done with Emp

I took my employment law final tonight. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Prof. Torts teaches it and last year he gave a hellacious exam. It was four hours and I typed right up to the last minute. This exam was mellow. I had time to think about my answers, to kind of plan, and even to look over my exam once.
That's the first exam I've had like that. I generally kind of think studying hard is a waste of time. I can work harder and learn the stuff better but come the exam I'll still be typing like a maniac to finish on time. This is the first example I've had where if I had studied harder I could have had a better grade. I literally finished my outline one hour before I took the test. If I had thought about the stuff a little more and maybe seriously read a practice exam I could have got a decent grade. Usually it's not how much I know, but how well I can get it onto a piece of paper in the short time I'm allowed.
Anyway, I've got two exams left and I'm way off my schedule. That's okay, I've got a new plan. I took Prof. K's final last year on the 18th of December. I'll take his exam this year on the 18th and next year I'll try and get his secured trans class and take that exam on the 18th. I'm going to rechristen it Prof. K's Day. It will be a holiday celebrated with final taking, bologna sandwiches, beer, show tunes and celebrity trivia. That's the plan, but I'll probably just go to my friends house and watch Food Network.
I haven't been posting the procrastination sites lately b/c the weather has been nice. It's been semi warm and the sun has been out the last two days. I've chosen to procrastinate by walking around. It's very nice.
One turn of good luck occurred while I was on such a walk. I had a crush on a certain bartendress about a year ago, we'll call her Bartendress C. I get along alright with Bartendress C. We even went on one drunken date. She went traveling and I got busy with school and I hadn't heard from her. The bartendress that I had my latest crush on just moved and I've been looking for a new bar. I walked by a pub on my way to the grocery store and Bartendress C was working at there. When I have time to enjoy a pint while doing homework I plan on going back. There's the possibility that I could slide back into my old barstool and maybe strike up a conversation. Until that time I'll remember to watch out for the clumsy salesman, the one with three fingers.

Monday, December 13, 2004

I'm the Champ

I finished my Public International Law final a couple minutes ago. I'm sure I did as well as I ever do. I didn't study much, I didn't freak out, I did have a cup of coffee. The first one is off my chest. Now I've got to develop a strategy for the rest of my finals. Preferably one that involves studying for them. Instead of studying for this one I helped a friend move, then had lunch and then took a nap until five in the afternoon. I then spent an hour getting coffee. I came home and promptly spilled my coffee all over the floor. I decided to have dinner and afterwards I went to get more coffee and a movie. By this time it was 10 pm. I decided to study until midnight and then watch the movie. My roommate asked me to spot him a couple bucks. This involved a trip to three ATMs. Finally got home and decided I wanted hot dogs so I headed back out to Zack's Shack and grabbed two dogs. Then got home and read for about ten minutes. Decided it was a waste to try and study and gave up and watched the movie. If anyone ever tests procrastination I would get an A if I didn't put off taking the class.
I did get to my laundry. It was gruesome. Sometimes certain layers of old socks and sponges should not be exposed. The mighty power of Arm and Hammer was needed to exorcise the odor. It was awful. On the up side I have been sleeping on clean sheets and wearing clean chonies.
While at the laundromat I was trying to save time, and quarters, by moving clothing items from dryer to dryer, all of which were mine, to achieve maximum dryness in minimum time. While doing this I accidently through a bunch of my crap into some other guy's dryer. He was grossed out when he started folding up his boxer shorts and realized they weren't his. When I jumped in and apologized and started picking my socks and stuff out his pile he was totally creeped out. I offered to pay him back the quarters I used and apologized. I got the feeling he thought I was trying to hit on him. I wasn't, but it gave me an idea. The next time I'm at the laundromat and there's a hot woman there I might accidentally mix my clothes with hers.
It's weird to think in a little over a week I'll be half way done with law school. I'm going to the pub now to celebrate fucking up yet another final and my amazing ability to procrastinate.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Top Ten Signs

Alright, here's the top ten ways to spot a law student off my Westlaw Tshirt. It turns out on closer inspection that it's only ten ways to spot a law student. Anyway here they are.
1. No longer responds to their first name.
2. Knows a tort is not a French pastry
3. Disclaims all advice with "I'm not a lawyer, but"
4. Refers to money as "damages."
5. Tabs. Everywhere. Even in the phone book.
6. Has highlighters in 7 different shades.
7. Answers "It depends" instead of "I don't know."
8. Watches "Cops" to count the civil rights violations.
9. Well spoken, even at happy hour.
10. Is wearing this free t shirt.

When I was in the crappy fake biker bar in Scottsdale someone played Living Color on the juke box. How cheeseball is that. Did the bar just by "Heavy Metal Sampler of the Early `90s"? For some reason it makes the yuppie poser biker bar that much more like Fado's style Disney Epcot subculture scenes. I can't wait for "The Punk Bar" by Hot Topic ™.
Well it's back to studying for me. Today I plan on finishing my first outline. I'm not going to make the Saturday deadline for my final. I'll find my procrastination pages once I've had a chance to procrastinate. Rock on.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Dead Days

I finished reading prop trans. I've got my notes typed in. I'm working on an outline. I didn't actually do any outlining. I got an assignment from work and it was pretty interesting. So I ended up walking around campus and talking to profs about different research angles. I spent some time doing administrative stuff, I forgot to do laundry though, and updating my in box. Then I did some more research on the work problems. I finally ended up at a Hanukkah dinner and just got home. I did no studying today.
There's an object lesson in this. I shouldn't spend a whole day doing homework b/c I just goof off the whole next day and work on stuff that interests me.
I've got a whole bunch of requests, that means 2, for the "Top Ten Ways to Spot a Law Student" that was on my Westlaw Tshirt. I'll do laundry tomorrow and get back to you. Right now my laundry pile is rolling and trying to lure my cat in and I'm afraid to touch it. That's why I'm not going to dig through it and try to find the Tshirt.
I filled up my gas tank today and made a new record. I kind of like to wait to fill up my tank and see how much gas I can get in it. This is not my mom's favorite game and my last girlfriend once pointed at her shoes and said "If I have to walk to the gas station in these shoes so that you can see how empty you can get your tank then this will be our last date." But for me it's a lot of fun, there's suspense and strategy. "Okay, the lights been on for three days but the odometer only says I've gone 354 miles. I can make it to school 2 more times and still make it to the gas station on Broadway." My tank is 15 gallons, my former record was 15.377 gallons. Today I got 15.635 gallons. Hurrah! It'll be tough to beat this record without running out, but I plan to do it.
Also b/c I forgot to post yesterday let me give you two procrastination sites. First is Rex 2.0's Thomas Kinkade post. I also hate Thomas Kinkade and think he represents all that's suburban and nasty.
The second procrastination website is actually two sites. Which is the "official" Julia Stiles site? Here or Here? I spent quite a bit of time yesterday trying to figure that out. I want to thank Ms. Stiles for her contribution to my legal education.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Antonio v Prop Trans

I've read almost all my prop trans. I have about fifty pages left. I'm sick of it. I think I was capitalizing prop trans yesterday. Can't remember now.
Anyway I think my first final is going to be on Saturday so by tomorrow I want to have all my notes typed and Prop Trans finished. Then I can spend Thursday at work and outline Thursday night. Work Friday, go to see the Arcade Fire (I know your jealous) and then sleep. Wake up and go over my outline once more and then take the final Saturday evening. Sounds great, I'm guessing I don't do the final until Sunday, but I'll keep shooting for Saturday.
I just did general procrastination today. I spent a lot of time on Buffalo Wings and Vodka. This poem got special attention. I also spent some time at The Onion. This article about the Supremes was great. I found out that U.S.A. Today has a crossword. Overall today's procrastination page is here.
Man, it's a wonder I didn't make law review.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Ball Lightning

Alright! Here's the procrastination page of the day. I read this for awhile instead of Prop Trans. Ball lightning and plasma are cool, but not in your own microwave.
I counted today and I'm 300 pages behind in the Prop Trans reading. I read about 50 tonight. I figure I'll be caught up by tomorrow. I finished Entertainment Law today. I also finished all my classes today. I have some committee stuff to do and a couple assignments from work that I'm still working on but other than that I can dedicate my life to Prop Trans.
I'm looking for a new homework bar. My favorite bartendress moved to Seattle this week and so I'm on the prowl. I've got my eye focused on one specific bar but I'll have to see. The Vern is definitely out. The juke box is just too good. I'd spend all my time picking out songs. Also there's no food at the Vern. Well technically there is food if you count peanuts, but other than that it's stuff they cook and that's just too terrifying to contemplate.
While I was in Phoenix I went to this lame bar in Scottsdale. It was supposed to be a biker bar, but Scottsdale is all yuppies. So there's a bunch of guys wearing all the gear, in near mint condition, with fancy motorcycles parked out front, drinking bud and acting like they were rocking out to Aerosmith. It was pretty pathetic.
A girl at the bar came up to me and started making small talk. She asked me what I was reading and I said "Employment Law, I'm studying law."
She said "You want to be a lawyer? There's too many of those."
"If you ever have a problem with your boss and can't get your paycheck you'll need someone like me."
"Are you a liberal?"
So basically I got accused of being a liberal because I think people should be paid for their work. Abraham Lincoln is spinning in his grave.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

December 5th!

Today is the 71st anniversary of the ratification of 21st Amendment. That's the one that repealed prohibition. This is basically brewer's Fourth of July. However brewers have never made as much money as they did during prohibition. If the 21st Amendment hadn't been ratified I would probably still be brewing beer for large amounts of money and with armed guards. How cool would that be?
I just finished reading for my 2nd class. That leaves two to go and then I can start outlining.
So far this has been my favorite website for finals procrastination. I'll probably highlight one of these a day for the next few weeks. Anyway this one deals with twinkies.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

One down

I'm not talking about finals. I just finished the reading for the semester for International Law. That means just three classes left to read for, then I start outlining.
Anyway, now that I'm relaxed I'll talk about Phoenix. I've been trying to think of something nice to say about it all week. So far I've come up with "It's not Houston" and "It doesn't take that long to drive through on your way to Texas". That being said it's got a horrible sprawl problem, there's only two buildings over 2 stories tall. Terrible waste of land. The people can't drive. I saw three separate SUV rollover accidents in the weekend I was there.
On the upside my cousin had a good wedding, she looked great in her gown and her husband doesn't seem like a moron. The church where they had the wedding only let them have four dances and there was no alcohol. This didn't go over well with my family and many a mini bottle from the hotel fridge were passed under the table.
It was fun to hang out with my cousins, this is the side of the family I don't see that often. We had fun reminding each other of humiliating things we did when we were kids. My older cousin reminded me about this black and white checkered hat with neck flaps I had. I got it after I saw Rad and thought it was soo cool. I used to wear it to school with my moonboots.
The kind of weird thing is that now I'm considered a semi grownup. The adults tell me all this stuff out about my family that I had no clue of at the time. So and so left her husband and he went and got her, so and so was molested by the creep down the street who moved to San Diego in the middle of the night and stuff like that. I guess I wasn't old enough to deal with those things when they happened but it's weird to find out that someone was a total piece of shit when you thought they were a great guy for the last twenty years.


I had to go, or excuse me, I got to go to Phoenix for my cousin's wedding. I'm gonna stop and start over.
I've got finals coming up and I can't get serious about them. I know I should at the very least get caught up on the reading. I haven't even made an attempt. I read three pages of homework today. That was homework from two weeks ago. I've seen a crap load of movies, talked to my favorite bartendress (she's moving to Seattle next week), helped my friends celebrate their birthday, shopped for a pair of new jeans, and volunteered to help people move. I believe my homework is nigh invincible. Motivation is not there. I need to stop flipping through cookbooks and reading fark and get to work. Any ideas how?
This week is the last week of lecture. I need to get motivated. I know drinking eggnog and bourbon and blogging at 1 in the morning is probably not the way to do it, but oh well.
I'm linking to Teaching the Indie Kids to Dance Again so that you can all download the Arcade Fire cover of the Talking Head's song Naive Melody. It has a longer title but I can't remember it. Anyway download this song and go buy the Arcade Fire album. You can also follow the link and hear a short radio set. It is some of the best music I've heard in a long time.